My friend Jim

A year ago I lost one of my closest friends. He was my adopted Granddad and I loved him very much.

I always knew Jim played an integral part of my life over the last five years, but I didn’t quite realise just how much until he wasn’t there anymore.

He’s the man who gave me my office role at the Conservatives. Former Council leader himself and a very well known, likeable person with a Black Country sense of humour that never went away. Within weeks of working in the office we’d become firm friends. He knew how low my self-confidence had been from being out of full time work for a year, and also being crushed by a former bully of a boss. He mentored me and showed me how to adapt to a very random office job; taking every challenge in my stride.

 

He also suffered from Lupus, which again gave us both a mutual understanding as he knew how I suffered with my M.E. We’d forever be discussing how many “spoons” we had left, chat about the world and politics… he’d come out with silly sayings like “She’s all fur coat and no knickers” and tell me stories about his life and experiences and how much he loved his wife, Joy.

 We came to a quick understanding of my weak points; my dyslexia and my passionate loathing of minuting meetings. To the point he’d specifically make sure he’d come in the office a day after to write them up with me. . (I still bloody hate taking minutes now, and I make sure everyone knows about it!)   I used to tease him and call him the Grammar Nazi, which is hilarious as I’ve seemed to have adopted the nickname at my own work now. I think he’d be proud of me for that. I’m the one people come to proof read their work. Never once did I dream that this would happen! It was all down to him.

 

He taught me to trust my instincts and to not take any hassle. We dealt with some difficult people over the years and he showed me how to work with and not against anything that came in my path.

He threw me in at the deep end at election time.. from Office Secretary to Agent in the space of a few days. However, I’m quite sure he did it knowing that I could swim. He gave me back a confidence that at the time was very much needed. He was always there to support and give advice so long as I’d had a big hug and made him his cup of tea in his over-sized Wolves Mug first. (I would say I learned something about Football. Unfortunately the only thing Jim managed to teach me is that the Wolves are orange and black. I like orange, and I love Wolves therefore I remember.)

 

I think of him every day, and regularly come across decisions in work, or home and think to myself “what would Jim say or do?”. Normally I sit and grin afterward, knowing full too well he’d be telling me off, or teasing me. But no matter what, he was always there to support me.

 

He’s still a constant influence in my life and I’m very sure he always will be. The most loveliest part is that I find that whenever I meet someone who knew him, they say the same thing

You're missed Jim. x

 

Contemplating Life and Politics.

Sitting on the decking with my coffee this morning, relaxing and contemplating the world that I live in. There's a sea mist that is making everything damp but it's quite therapeutic and fresh. It's making me very thoughtful as I hear the birds tweet, and watch a spider making it's web right next to me. Such a creation should never be destroyed. Such an amazing creature.

I've decided to step down at the next election, May 2015. I've known this for a while but it's taken me quite some time to come to terms with it. I've had an ongoing fight for about the last year on whether to attempt to stand again, as I do love my town and what I stand for so much. My opinions may not always follow the crowd, and can cause inner turmoil but at least I know I can stand by what I say.

My old boss, Jim who came to be known affectionately as my Granddad passed away recently. I miss him every day and he was my inspiration for choosing my path into politics. Such a powerful and great presence cannot be replaced and his advice and intuition is sorely missed. Not to mention I just miss not being able to get one of the best hugs I've ever had off someone, or the silly sense of humour that kept me laughing for days on end. I hope to think I've made him proud. (I miss you Jimbo x)

I'm proud of things that I have achieved, there's also things I am not so proud of. However, I feel it's my time to take a step back and actually figure out what I want in life. I've never been the sitting at home, settled kind. I've always been flitting away to find my next adventure. I'm not entirely sure what the plan is yet but I know that standing for re selection would be committing myself to another four years that I'm not entirely sure I could give. That wouldn't be fair on me, or the electorate. On the brighter side, that doesn't mean I'm quitting politics for good come next May. I'm far too opinionated for that. I'll be around, normally manic and doing something silly for charity and the local people.

Right, time to get inside. The sea mist has ensured I have a very wet bottom and my coffee has gone.

Over and out. 

The only thing you have to fear....

I'm feeling empowered! Yes, actually I am. I know that's very preppy for a Sunday night but just hear me out....

Today marks the start of something new in my life. I may well have just cracked my biggest fear: Claustrophobia. In the last few weeks I've hit my issues head on by tackling each one:

The main fact being that I'm a scuba diver who hates being in enclosed spaces. Don't laugh!

I've always felt comfortable diving as I'm in control of my equipment. Safety and control make a massive difference to fear. I've never fancied caves, going through small passages, low visibility, inside wrecks etc. My irrational fear sweeps through my body and freezes me on the spot.

It all started back when I was little. There were a few moments that encouraged the fear to grow. One being when I managed to get my neck stuck in a sunroof and nearly decaptiated myself (impressive, eh?) Another when we went to the HMS Warrior on a school trip and I managed to have a panic attack in the engine room. Obviously I was ridiculously popular with the other kids in my group when they had to cancel the tour. To this day I'd take the stairs over a lift. I don't like walk-in cupboards and if anyone tries to hold me down, well, just don't please. :)

A few years ago in Gran Canaria, my Guide took my into a small hole cave at about 29m. I was so proud of myself for completing this really trival task. It was a start for me to realise that actually it wasn't so bad; in fact I'd found it very interesting.

I started my route into technical diving a few weeks ago in Egypt. With this I had to up my game with safety and getting used to my equipment; especially in emergencies. Going past 40 meters on a dive is when it becomes far more serious. You have decompression to deal with amongst other things. It's not as simple as what I've been used to doing for years. 

One of my main problems was that I hadn't taken my mask off underwater since I'd passed my open water back in 2004. Suddenly realising I had to do it again gave me nightmares and stressed me out. Now writing about it a few weeks later I actually laugh at myself, how pathetic! I soon got over it. Mostly because I didn't want to fail. But I guess we've all been there whilst doing something you don't like at somepoint in your life.

I've been plucking up courage to start UK diving for years. Low visibility really scared me but I promised myself I'd at least try. I was very lucky on the fact the one day I jumped in the lake back in May the visibility was fine! However, I've been back a few times in the last few weeks and I'm now quite familiar with not even being able to see my own hands through the silty water, what joy!

I was diving with others, whom I knew were next to me but not a clue where. It was actually very comforting when floating through the silt on your own. Therapeutic almost. I thoroughly enjoyed the relaxed pace. It was only when I suddenly had this tap on my mask and then a thumb appear in front of my nose did I realised it was time to go up!

So yes. There you have it. Mask skills. Low visibility. Being a bit more self sufficient and aware. Maybe I might even attempt a few more lifts in the oncoming months. You never know but at least it's a start. We all have to start somewhere.

Summertime Reflection.

Someone said to me that other day that I needed to update my blog. This made me realise I actually did need to do this, and also that I have people that enjoy reading my ramblings of unimportant things. I was quite chuffed, if I'm honest. 

At the end of the day the blog is just another egocentric way of putting down all of our own thoughts down hoping that others may take notice. Life has been full speed recently; I haven't had time to sit and muse. I take that as a very good thing, however I do miss having the time to sit down and just think about things.

My hayfever has been at an all time low this year; it's kept me awake, it's kept me swollen, puffy and looking like the elephant man for most of the day. I sit at work with permanent sniffles, everyone thinks I'm sickly. (To be fair, they're kind of right there!) 

I've been told it's been extra specially bad this year. However, it was extra evil at midnight, and now it's woken me up at 5:30am this morning. My sinuses feel like they've peeled away from my forehead and my eyes; well, I won't give a full description but it's not pretty.

So, I've sat outside on the decking with a cup of tea and my iPad.. Writing this note. Every cloud has a silver lining, I suppose. It's very peaceful. Even if I have to have an allergy tablet and a supply of tissues with me on the bench at all times!

I'm off to Dahab (Egypt, my second home) on Thursday. I've been counting down the days since January. My home away from home is finally just forty-eight hours away. It's amazing, as soon as I'm on the plane my allergies quite simply disappear. The dry, arid desert is wonderful, a few full weeks of being able to breath through my nose without choking, or soreness, or sneezing etc. I think half the reason I've been so focused on the flying date is specifically because I've suffered so much this year.

I know what you're thinking, #firstworldproblems. I know, I think it too. Of all the things to whinge about, hayfever is pretty low on the list of things. All I can say is that when it becomes a constant for months on end that it starts to fray your nerves. Either that or the lack of sleep is finally beginning to make me twitch!

Anywho, little blog over and out. I shall sit in the sunshine and report from the beach next week, honest! 

 

A touch on the poorly side.

So, my immune system has taken a nice little nose dive again.

I’d like to think it’s just bad timing and bad luck being Winter and all, but having the flu-like symptoms (Including an evil reoccurring cough)  from the end of November till now kind of hints at a more sinister underlying problem. I’ve been in remission from ME/CFS for nearly ten years now, it only tends to crop up for me to catch colds and bugs a lot easier than others. It’s quite obvious that I’m not the healthiest person, despite my efforts at a balanced diet and exercise. I’m always the “diseased” one, or the “unlucky” one. It doesn’t take long to see that if there wasn’t the drugs there are today, natural selection would have come for me a very long time ago. All I can do is fight, the problem is that at the moment, every day is a fight. I think this is why I’m writing this blog post, a few friends have recently pointed out that I have a “cold”, not to sound over dramatic, but it’s anything but a cold.

Lately, every morning I wake up and struggle to get out of bed, let alone get moving. I keep myself buzzing by a shot of caffeine and sugar and foods throughout the day for energy.. and by about 4pm every day I’m about ready to crash into bed. I’m lucky I last that long really, I make myself. I miss feeling normal otherwise. There was once upon a time when I couldn’t even manage that. Getting out of bed and having a shower was about it for my day. My Mum would have to help me with everything else. Being bed bound, day in, day out for a very long period of time is not a fun thing.

I’ve been to the doctor; she says there’s nothing she can do after two sets of antibiotics.. It’s viral. No amount of antibiotics will cure. It’s a case of looking after yourself. So, instead of my normal bouts of exercise, I find myself laid up in bed with another book, or in the bath trying to stop my bones from aching so much.

It’s not doing my morale any good. No exercise makes Jen a grumpy girl. I feel fat, depressed and lower with every evening that passes. Every time I go to bed thinking, “Ah well, tomorrow is another day, I’m sure I’ll feel better in the morning”. Every morning I wake up the same: cough cough, splutter splutter… urgh! Every morning I promise myself that night I’ll go to the gym, or for a swim and then it gets to the evening and I’m wiped out on the sofa. I’m going crazy, I’m desperate to get fit, but knowing how lifeless I feel, physical exertion is the worst thing I can do.

I’m keeping positive and hoping this isn’t the beginning of a relapse.. Staying positive is the way forward. Just a blog post to say bear with me, really.. I hope now you see that it’s not just a cold. I’m not a hypochondriac, I’m genuinely trying to battle with my immune system.

I’m just going to think that in a few months time I can look back on this post and think, hell… I’m so glad I’m not like that anymore! In the meantime, my bed is my saviour. If you want to know the best way that M.E can be described... Pease check out this link: 

http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/wpress/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/

I've spent years trying to explain M.E. Conversations that lasted for hours...  This wonderful person managed to sum it up in a 5 minute piece.

Aldis vs Waitrose

 

 On twitter tonight:

"@freelanceliz: Discussion on aldi coming to Herne Bay & whether waitrose would be better. @jennieledwards says she doesn't want snobs in HB but normal folk"

Please let me explain the context, I spoke with Liz after and she fully agreed it did not come across the way she meant it to. When the subject of Herne Bay having an Aldis, there were suggestions that we'd sold ourselves short as the original plan was to have a Waitrose. Well, as much as we wanted Waitrose, they didn't want us. Unfortunately, you can lead a horse to water but you cannot make it drink. 

When Aldis vs Waitrose came up, certain Councillors and others around me started to murmur things like:

'Aldis!?? Bloody awful, I would never shop there' and 

'oh, I only shop in Waitrose, Aldis is disgusting Herne Bay could have done so much better'

So when I stood up to be positive over Aldis, I first mentioned the fact that I'm pleased, Aldis is actually excellent, it was voted Supermarket of the year and I for one am quite pleased that Morrisons will not be monopolising Herne Bay as it's main supermarket anymore. I could, once again hear very snobbish comments from all around me. It was then that I looked around the Guildhall as I spoke and made my comment about snobs and normal people.

To be honest, I think I've been into a Waitrose three times in my life. Not by choice but quite simply as there isn't one near me. My brother buys his cheese from the Ashford store and says its pretty awesome for day to day stuffs. If there was one near me, I'd probably use it. I tend to use my local independent shops for my meat and veggies etc, then the supermarket for the staples.

I did not intend for that comment to sound like I was snubbing all Waitrose shoppers as snobs, any more than I would look down my nose at Aldis shoppers.

Hope that clears it up a bit. Not something I can get into a couple of tweets!

Ras Abu Galum - Dive photos to Follow

I was last in Egypt back in June, and missed out on the trip by a day. I also didn’t get around to doing the SS Thistlegorm, which I promised myself I’d accomplish this year. Jake (the better half),  was joining me out there to do his advanced, and considering he only had a week we decided it was best to put it on the backburner as time slips away whilst your on holiday easily, let alone when you pack extra adventures in. When we arrived this time in November, I was hell bent on doing the SS Thistlegorm. Oddly enough, once again I didn’t manage to do it. However, I managed to do something far more special and elite and I’m so thankful for the opportunity.

We went to this tiny little Bedouin place by the name of Ras Abu Galum. It is tiny, two families live there, a population of about 20, give or take a few stragglers. To get there you either go by truck up to Nuiweba and back down again, which takes 4 hours, or you camel it from the Blue Hole for an hour. Of course, we opted for the camels! H20 Divers are only one of a couple who offer a diving trip to Ras. I’m so pleased it did it. I’m probably only one of 50 divers who got to experience it this year.

The journey itself is a total experience worth doing. We arrived at the dive centre for 7am, and by 7.45 all of our kits were loaded up, tanks and all onto these odd creatures. I’ve never been a camel fan as a rule; they smell, they feel uncomfortable and all you want to do is hurry them up. This might be because when travelling on four legs I’m too used to being on a horse. Getting onto them itself is entertaining, it’s like watching someone climb onto an extra large clothes horse in the way their legs concertina and fold underneath their bodies. The amazing thing was that once you were on board, they were away! No leading, no direction… they knew exactly where they were heading. A very odd experience, but within ten minutes I was absolutely loving the laid back style. I just chilled and started to look around. My opinion was very much changed.

The seafront path you ride along is ridiculously rocky, but so very totally stunning. It’s like walking back into the Jurassic period. The cliff side and rock faces are so old you can just tell that so much history must have taken place along the trail. Frankie, our guide explained that the trail was actually originally used by the Romans, and they regularly used it to transport goods. You could just picture the Legion pacing down the sands, heading up to cross into Arabia. It really was quite breathtaking. As you carry on around the rocky path you can suddenly see these little dark dots in the distance, these dots turned out to be the wooden huts of Ras Abu Gollum. It works out to about 5 miles north of the Blue Hole. The sun is just beginning to pick up heat as you close into the destination. I was quite sad when I got there as I was quite happy just to carry on taking in the coastline. However, that was just the beginning.

We chose our “hut”. Which literally consisted of shoots tied together in the sand. Keeps you out of the direct sunlight. We offloaded the camels and the Bedouin Sheikh (Sheikh means leader, this man was the leader of his village) greeted us and brought us fresh Bedioun tea which was deliciously refreshing after our trek. We met the local cat, a well looked after grey who was very cuddly and friendly. Also the local dog who was the happiest dog in Egypt! You could almost see her smiling.

Frankie showed us around, not that there was exactly much to show. We were situated on the beach. Stunning views all around. A functioning toilet was about 50 meters away (Don’t expect luxury though) there were mattresses for us to chill out on. Blankets encase we get cold over night.. and stunning reef diving wherever we went! By 10am we were wading into the water for our first dive. Jake, my buddy was half way through his Deep spec, meaning he was learning the science of diving down to 40m and gaining his qualification. It was quite simply stunning. The corals were alive with colour and there were shoals of all forms of fish no matter where we looked. The first dive lasted 45 mins and we came out feeling so refreshed. I always thought that Dahab had the most stunning reefs of Egypt, but Boy, did I not know! This was something quite special.

We changed our kits over and settled down to chill in the sunshine and await lunch. Frankie explained that the Sheikh’s family would be cooking for us. We had fresh battered Grouper (caught about an hour beforehand) with rice and fresh salad. I’ve never tasted fish like it. But to fair, I don’t think I’ve ever had such fresh fish before. We let that settle for an hour then kitted up to head up to the Rocks.

The Rocks is a drift dive on the far edge of Ras Abu Gollum. I’d been told about this dive beforehand. It’s known as Triggerfish Alley as it’s a nursery ground for the Red Tooth triggerfish. You sit at about 20m and just let the current take you. I’ve never seen anything like this dive before. The colours and the beauty is just beyond compare. No matter where I looked, I was surrounded by thousands of these stunning bluey/greeny triggerfish. It really could not be described. This went on for a good hundred meters, and just when you think it ended, another shoal would appear. The masses of colours from all the groups and goatfish was just… well, wow. I came out of that dive in another world. I couldn’t wait to get back into that water to experience more.  The last coral rock before we excited was covered in Lion fish too, which as you know are a regular in the Red Sea, however I counted 17 on this tiny rock! A gorgeous big-eyed puffer sat in the middle of them staring out at us.

That was it for the first day. We chilled out in the sun, drank the beers that we’d brought with us and took it all in. We had roasted chicken for dinner, with pasta and more fresh salad, which again was delightful. Chatted away as the sun went down and the stars started to appear over the mountain. Now, living in the UK I live in quite a populated area, so I’ve never particularly seen the sky at night in a way which makes you stop and think. Up at Ras, with no light pollution once again rendered me speechless. We camped out underneath the stars, and for the first time in my life I saw not just one, but three shooting stars! We slept soundly on our mattress and enjoyed the sounds of the waves against the beech.

We woke up at 6.15.. the sky was beginning to lighten but there was no sign of the sun just yet. We’d all decided to do an early dive, 7am in the water before breakfast. We went up to a sit between the house reef and rocks but had no specific name. The one thing that made it stand out though were the amount of pinnacles sticking up throughout the corals. Very striking and different to the other sides only a few hundred meters away. Jake needed to finish off his deep spec so we planned to go down to 38 meters. The sun had just risen above the water as we went down and getting to 30m was quite a view. Where the sun wasn’t high in the sky it looked like we were almost diving into the abyss. The night sky was still reflecting downwards. A very eerie feeling at the back of my spine as I watched the colours change in front of me. A pretty dive, not as so many fish in this area as Rocks, but the colours and the pinnacles still made it stand out.

We got out of the water just before 8 and once again set up our kits. Breakfast and tea were served, basic breads and jam but delicious all the same. We let our surface interval time climb as the sun came up and once again, we chilled. (As you can tell we did a LOT of that… but, in such a serene place it’s hard not to do anything else. You don’t want music blaring.. or loud chatter. It’s just you and a little piece of paradise)

The last dive we chose to go back and do Rocks again. The current wasn’t as strong the second time so we had a longer time to reach the exit point. It was a similar experience to the day before but nonetheless anything but beautiful. Knowing it was our last dive we took the camera and got a few shots, as you can see the results are on here!  I don’t think I’ll ever be able to do the beauty justice. My friends who dived here with Frank back in June managed to catch site of a Manta. Unfortunately we didn’t, but our experience was just as amazing.

After the dive we packed up our kits and sat down for lunch. Today it was fresh Goatfish. I found it so weird as you could still see their little feelers under their gills. It was just as good as the Grouper on the previous day, if not better. The Bedioun family couldn’t do enough to look after us. Such a friendly bunch too, they have a couple of little children that come round and say hi every so often. Always smiling, always happy despite having no electricity, no internet, no computer games! They play in the sand every day with strong imaginations. Simplistic but heavenly.

Our camels arrived earlier than expected, but the sun was still high in the sky so we did not want to move too quickly, otherwise it would be sunburn ahoy! Curled up on the beach for a while and took in our last views before getting onto our walking clothes horses for the journey home.

All I can say is that it was worth every penny. I visited somewhere which only the rare very lucky tourist gets to see. You can keep your Pyramids and museums tours, sandboarding and quad biking….  Give me the peace, tranquillity and absolute beauty of Ras Abu Gollum any day.  It’s magical. If I get a chance, I’ll be heading back there again.


PS – Thank you Jake. If it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t have done it x
PS PS- Thank you Frank, for convincing Jake! X