So, my immune system has taken a nice little nose dive again.
I’d like to think it’s just bad timing and bad luck being Winter and all, but having the flu-like symptoms (Including an evil reoccurring cough) from the end of November till now kind of hints at a more sinister underlying problem. I’ve been in remission from ME/CFS for nearly ten years now, it only tends to crop up for me to catch colds and bugs a lot easier than others. It’s quite obvious that I’m not the healthiest person, despite my efforts at a balanced diet and exercise. I’m always the “diseased” one, or the “unlucky” one. It doesn’t take long to see that if there wasn’t the drugs there are today, natural selection would have come for me a very long time ago. All I can do is fight, the problem is that at the moment, every day is a fight. I think this is why I’m writing this blog post, a few friends have recently pointed out that I have a “cold”, not to sound over dramatic, but it’s anything but a cold.
Lately, every morning I wake up and struggle to get out of bed, let alone get moving. I keep myself buzzing by a shot of caffeine and sugar and foods throughout the day for energy.. and by about 4pm every day I’m about ready to crash into bed. I’m lucky I last that long really, I make myself. I miss feeling normal otherwise. There was once upon a time when I couldn’t even manage that. Getting out of bed and having a shower was about it for my day. My Mum would have to help me with everything else. Being bed bound, day in, day out for a very long period of time is not a fun thing.
I’ve been to the doctor; she says there’s nothing she can do after two sets of antibiotics.. It’s viral. No amount of antibiotics will cure. It’s a case of looking after yourself. So, instead of my normal bouts of exercise, I find myself laid up in bed with another book, or in the bath trying to stop my bones from aching so much.
It’s not doing my morale any good. No exercise makes Jen a grumpy girl. I feel fat, depressed and lower with every evening that passes. Every time I go to bed thinking, “Ah well, tomorrow is another day, I’m sure I’ll feel better in the morning”. Every morning I wake up the same: cough cough, splutter splutter… urgh! Every morning I promise myself that night I’ll go to the gym, or for a swim and then it gets to the evening and I’m wiped out on the sofa. I’m going crazy, I’m desperate to get fit, but knowing how lifeless I feel, physical exertion is the worst thing I can do.
I’m keeping positive and hoping this isn’t the beginning of a relapse.. Staying positive is the way forward. Just a blog post to say bear with me, really.. I hope now you see that it’s not just a cold. I’m not a hypochondriac, I’m genuinely trying to battle with my immune system.
I’m just going to think that in a few months time I can look back on this post and think, hell… I’m so glad I’m not like that anymore! In the meantime, my bed is my saviour. If you want to know the best way that M.E can be described... Pease check out this link:
http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/wpress/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/
I've spent years trying to explain M.E. Conversations that lasted for hours... This wonderful person managed to sum it up in a 5 minute piece.
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