Showing posts with label illness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label illness. Show all posts

Friday, 29 May 2020

I would tell you a joke about a needle in a haystack, but I don’t think you’d see the point!

I’ve ended up in the same conversation a few times over as of late - stories about being adverse to needles. In-fact, I have a massive phobia of needles that has landed me in some hot water over the years. I thought I’d share them down onto my blog, so that you can all have a great laugh at my expense.

 Now, my background covers a lot of medical experiences and training thanks to a varied work life. I’ve seen so many animal accidents, sicknesses, blood and gore you’d think I’d be used to it by now; but no, I’m really not. It all started back when I was young. My father will always deny this; in fact, he calls me silly for it -  but he started it. He used to chase me, put his fingers at the back of my knees and middle of arms and shout “injection time”. I used to hate it, and even now, I absolutely hate being touched behind my knees or my arms. It makes me feel quite physically sick.

As written about previously, I had major health issues throughout my teenage years. The amount of needles, blood samples, canula fittings I endured must have gone well into the hundreds. All you need is a few bad experiences and BOOM! A phobia is born. Fear is completely stupid, because it’s always completely irrational. But that is exactly what it is. If it wasn’t, we’d all be fearless which in turn would lead to a whole different problem. My fellow animal volunteers find it absolutely hilarious (and perplexing) that I can help with an animal that is falling apart because of a road accident, with blood and guts everywhere... and yet I cannot bring myself to give a small subcutaneous injection under the fur. 


One of the first instances that I can remember is being treated at Great Ormond Street Hospital. The nurses took me to a room, and sat me on a chair to take blood. I always remember my mother specifically telling them that I’d need to lay down as I don’t fair very well...  The next thing I know I woke up on the floor. Mum says to this day that I’d gone the colour of the floor.. a very pale medical green!

I used to be on the DEPPO injection - which is basically the ladies pill in needle form. Once every three months I’d have to have an injection into my butt.. and every three months I’d have the same argument with the nurse about laying down, every time I won. Once time my ex-husband came with me and the nurse was insistent that I just needed to bend over and relax... so I did to prove my point. Once again, I woke up with both the nurse and my ex trying to lift me up onto the table. I was as still and as solid as a rock. Thankfully, she made a note then and there never to give me any sort of needle without laying down ever again. Point proven!

Now one of the more frightening times was a few years ago here in Egypt. 2017 was not a good year for me - I was gravely ill for months - I had an infection that had spread inside my body and really did quite a bit of permanent damage. One of the side effects of the medication (not that I knew it at the time!) was that it gave me tachycardia. On more than a few occasions I’d felt like I was having a heart attack. My heart rate would zoom up to 200bpm without me even doing anything. I had to pop up to Cairo for a tonne of tests as the Doctor in Gouna had told me I had slight heart failure. At 32, with no pre-existing issues. 😳 Anywho, I digress...


One of the main tests needed was a dye based CT scan. They inject the dye into your wrist and 15 minutes late you’re put under the scanner to check the walls of the heart. The nurse was kind of aggressive with the dye. You’re meant to administer it slowly, but no... she shunted that damn needle into my hand like a pressure hose. Dan managed to walk me back out into the waiting room before I keeled over in front of everyone. Interestingly, I had the most amazing dream whilst I was “out for the count”. It was a cool British Winter’s day and I was snuggled up under the most amazing duvet. I didn’t want to move or get up, yet something kept on trying to pull me out of this amazing feeling. I woke up with a start. I was covered in sweat, I had four nurses holding my arms and legs up, smelling salts under my nose and a very upset Dan standing above me. They moved me to a small room to recover, and  fed me apple juice to try and get my sugar levels up. I proceeded to tell Dan about my wonderful dream, and almost how horrible it was to wake up again. He went white as a sheet and asked me not to tell him that ever again. It turns out I’d stopped breathing and had been turning blue for nearly a whole minute after I’d fainted. He’d physically slapped me across my face trying to shock me back into life and genuinely thought that momentarily he’d lost me. I had no clue in my happy little place. Interesting to think that IF that’s the other side, well, I won’t worry so much when it is my time - let’s put it that way. I didn’t tell my parents that story for a good year, purely because I thought they’d freak out. I was right!

Last but not least of these experiences revolves more around Dan in the hospital rather than me! Two years ago he had to experience what I can only call a major operation that NO man would ever voluntarily put themselves through. I will not go into details, but lets just say it left a 8 inch scar in a place that is super uncomfortable even today. Due to the way that hospitals work here ... I became his nurse for weeks, whilst this operation healed. What’s worse is that this operation was open/loose stitched as it needed to be healed from the inside out. (I wont post a picture!). Suffice to say that Nurse Jen was excellent at doing everything except for administering the injections, of which, Dan, the poor soul had to do himself as I found myself going dizzy as soon as I’d mixed the antibiotics to flush into the cannula. 

 The best part of this story though, was the check up two weeks later. When the Doctor heard what I’d been doing he’d invited me to take a look at what he had to do next, which involved removing and re-stitching said area. (It was fascinating, I love this kind of thing!) However, the doctor did most of it without giving poor Dan an anaesthetic. Half way through, he called for a morphine needle... and that’s where it all went wrong for me. As soon as I saw the needle, the room suddenly went smaller. I excused myself to go out and get some air. I went to the toilet to splash myself with water and next thing you know, I’m on the ground. So, I pick myself back up and take myself outside to sit on the marble steps for air... except I never made the marble steps. Well, I did, kind of. I made them by fainting onto them, knocking myself out and smashing my

glasses. I woke up in the bed right next to Dan. The doctor visited me and couldn’t understand where I’d come from.. once again I’d turned so green he didn’t even recognise me! It was only when I managed to choke out that I was with Dan he realised I was the same girl who’d been helping him in the operation not ten minutes before! Lord knows what people must have thought of us that night. I looked a right mess and was still slightly dizzy and concussed, Dan was high as a kite and we both stood outside of McDonald’s, swaying on our own as we downed a large pack of fries and nuggets purely for some energy.

 I’ve had a few hospital experiences since then, fortunately nothing on the same scale as these. The food poisoning and hospital experience that I had last year was so bad that I almost got used to having needles and cannula jabbed into me. I definitely faired better that time...maybe it’ll hold me better stead for next time.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed reading my adventures with needles. There’s a small tattoo that I would really like to get, yet I still just cannot get over the needle fear, one day... maybe. Until then, no more injections please!





Thursday, 26 July 2012

Space Cadet/ Calamity Jennie

Sooo, I've been lying (laying?) here for the past few hours trying to nod off with little success. My mind will not switch off at all, which, after the day I've had is ridiculous! Most of the day has been spent trying to keep my eyes open. My Mum will moan at me later on when she sees this as I did say I wouldn't touch my IPod or phone tonight. Sorry Mum, I got bored.. It's hot and I'm awake.


I've been in the wars, again. Full on concussion. From, wait for it.... The corner of a wooden shelf! Yup, my poor skull had a lovely little argument with it and lost. The shelf is quite happily still in place, gloating, sharp corner and all. Whereas I ended up with a headache over night and passing out the next day from dizziness. A lovely bruised lump has appeared; fortunately just behind my hairline. I look a little like a Conehead when I tie my hair back so methinks I'll be keeping it down for the foreseeable future. A trip to Margate Hospital later and I'm a space cadet... And quite happy about it! I have all ready stated to the friend who owns it that I will not be coming round again until said shelf is removed from all it's glory.. *Evil shelf. Grumble. Grumble.*


My matey Phil text me this afternoon, after I'd sent an explanatory text of just why I couldn't answer the phone due to a core splitting headache. His response? "Calamity Jennie strikes again!" Phil is spot on with this remark. I've known him 4 years, and in those years I've had: a broken collar bone, a broken toe, swine flu, torn ligaments, fat lip, another broken toe, multiple falling down scars, multiple horse riding injuries... I could go on but you get the picture. Phil's had a full report on all of these as he has this amazing innate knack of calling me just as these accidents happen.


When I first me Phil I remember sitting in the pub next to an open fire and explaining that I was slightly illness and accident prone. He worked at Pfizer and joked that I'd met the right person. I don't think he quite realized how serious I was. He soon learned when I turned up to his birthday party in a posh frock and my arm in a sling! Ten days after a broken bone I still managed to bake him a triple decker birthday cake, single handedly (boom boom!) AND drink and dance the night away.. (After reading that back to myself I can't help thinking I was either awesome that day, or incredibly stupid).


Anywho, I've completely lost the plot of my post and cannot remember the point I was going to make. But I'm awake, drugged up and in pain so I'll leave it there for now.


Night all!


Calam x

Tuesday, 13 March 2012

All about ME... Part 1.

Someone asked me to explain the history of my illness the other day. I don't know how I can compact this into a blog post without writing a whole essay.. It's quite a task! Gradual parts, I think, is the way forward. I didn't realise quite how much of it I blocked out my brain until I talked about it with my parents a little while ago. Hopefully it makes sense; here it goes:


Growing up; I was a bubbly blonde happy go lucky girl who took part in practically everything. I loved life and spent most my time at gymnastics, sea cadets, dance, cycling and tons of other things. I loved school, I was a normal kid who was rarely ill.


Age 10: I moved schools due to moving house. (Big Mistake of life No1.) I missed my friends chronically and for some reason I could not glue into this school whatsoever.


Age 11: I moved into a class where I didn't get on well with most of my class mates. I only had one friend (The wonderful Beth, who is still near and dear to me) and my teacher decided to put her into a different class to me. 


I got bullied, physically and mentally by a few girls in my class. One would even be as so bold to kick my legs on the way home from school despite walking back with my own mother.  I got sworn at, spat at and pretty much humiliated in front of my whole class on a regular occasion. Kids can be so cruel.  The reason? Because I spoke nicely. Supposedly I was too "posh" to fit in. I'm a very friendly and open person and it really got me down. I also got accused of stealing a (cheap and half used) lipstick by a girl who then spread the rumour through the whole year. I hated not being liked and for some reason I wasn't just disliked.. I was pretty much hated. Not that I was ever popular in my previous school but this was another level of loserdom. I didn't want to go to school any more; it was misery. I pretty much didn't want to be alive anymore. My family and Beth were about the only things keeping me going.


Not that I knew it for many years until being told by Great Ormond Street, but I'd actually contracted Glandular Fever through my brother at the same time. It all went downhill from there. The combination of the Kent Test (11+), being bullied badly and the GF my body started to cave in. I couldn't eat without being in pain, I lost so much weight and I physically couldn't get out of bed anymore. My body ached all over, my throat was sore, my glands were up and I could barely make it up the stairs at home without giving out half way up. It took forever for the doctors to diagnose me, a good year at least. Problem was ME/CFS, back then was non existent. Known as "Yuppie Flu" or "The Fakers Disease" If only!!


 Luckily my parents took me to a private physician out of pure desperateness and even luckier for us, he happened to be one of the leading doctors in the field of ME. He wrote to Great Ormond Street to get me on the list to see the specialist.. but that didn't happen till quite some time later.


In the meantime I'd passed my 11+ and had been accepted into a local all girl's Grammar School. (Not going to name names here) My parents were very proud of me bar the fact that I struggled with life. The new teachers had reassured my parents that I would be looked after and helped with my learning considering I struggled to concentrate for an hour without developing sickness and dizzyness. I lost count of the amount of times I'd fainted.. I'd just keel over at any given moment. Beleive me when I say, that school = Biggest Mistake of my Life. 


I spent the Summer in hospital.. about 7 weeks being "monitored". I had ECG's, blood tests and   practically every other test under the sun to see what was wrong with me. It was a boiling Summer and I'd be huddled up under fleece pajamas and hot water bottles. All a bit strange really. The doctors still couldn't figure it out although they had worked out I had developed at least one stomach ulcer. (No wonder I couldn't eat!!) I dropped down to well under 5 stone and spent pretty much most my time in bed, or in a wheelchair. By now I had such bad insomnia I was lucky to get 3 hours sleep a night. My poor parents; they were at their wit's end. 


I think that's enough for now. Considering that's only the first 2 years and my concentration is failing me. Don't pity me though; this story is what makes me who I am now. A walking, talking survivor who happens to know everything and anything about drugs :-)


Part Deux.. coming soon!

















Friday, 13 January 2012

A knock back for Chronic Fatigue/ ME Sufferers..

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2012-01-06/virus-theory-for-chronic-fatigue-dismissed/3761308


Anyone who knows me knows about the battles I have had in my life with my immune system... The link to the above is quite sad news for CFS sufferers all over. I've never been one to hold out hope on having CFS "pinned" but it would have been nice to have confirmation of at least how it started. The doctors at GOSH were convinced I developed mine through a bout of Glandular Fever, but I guess we'll never know for sure. All I know is that I made it though to the other side.


This is something that does not tend to get in my way these days, however, after such a stressful week in the world of me, the dreaded symptoms return. I've got a nice cuddly bottle of Maalox (As well as my other vitamins and boosts) sitting beside me waiting for the fun to commence...


I highly recommend reading this link for the Spoons Theory, not for myself, but encase you know of anyone with Lupus, CFS, Fibromyalgia or practically any immune system disorder. You may have never even heard of these conditions, but I bet you that you know someone who has one of them: http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory-written-by-christine-miserandino/

This link made me cry when I first read it, in the years of being ill I was never once able to put how I felt into words. It's helped me a lot and perhaps it might help you.

New beginnings?!?!

Just how many new beginnings or fresh starts do we manage, or allowed to have in life?    I’ve been fortunate to be able to have a few. At t...